At 4: “Make sure to clean behind your ears!”

At 8: “Sweety, we need to get that hair cut before the family reunion.”

At 18: “Is that a moustache or did you just dirty sanchez?”

   From the time we’re out of diapers until the day we need them again, we’re constantly being needled about our appearance. And while I’ll never consider it the most important aspect of a person, being put together will never be considered a negative thing.

   But where does cleaning yourself up start? What is the basis of good appearance? It’s not the clothes and it’s certainly not the swagger. No sir, you gotta (literally) strip down to the basics for this one!

   Just like the bun holds your juicy burger in place, the foundation of being presentable and looking good is grooming. Clothes are like ketchup and swagger is the hot sauce, I guess.

   Now, one would think that after a few years of practice, guys would start to get the hang of how to get clean. But we don’t seem to naturally gravitate towards great grooming habits, unlike our beautiful female counterparts.

   Whereas women seemed to have figured out the finest complexities of the grooming game, us guys are usually tripped up right off the bat. But ladies, cut us some slack! While we may struggle a bit with cleaning ourselves, we’re pretty quick learners… we just need a little push in the right direction once in awhile.

   For me, that push has come from AXE and this blog. This summer, I’m unlocking the secrets to male grooming. Nothing too time consuming or chichi or anything - don’t worry, Al Hal’s still all about efficiency in the bathroom. Here are a few of my fave products that have been cleaning me up lately:

The Detailer - This guy is the best shower buddy you can have, and you don’t even have to worry about dropping soap around him. Just squirt a dollop of shower gel on his spongy side and get ready for a good rubdown. FYI, I used to be a straight line scrubber, but over time I’ve found circular patterns to be the best bang for my buck. Plus, scrubbing in circles makes, like, way more bubbles. Eeeeee bubbles! The detailer gets you clean in all the right places. But you don’t have to take my word for it…

Intense De-Glue Hair Scrub - If I’ve been wearing a styling aid in my hair, chances are I’ll start with this stuff when I begin my shower. It has little balls of putty/paste/pomade destroying goodness, so you can get your hair back to its normal, floppy self. Plus it makes the most bubbles out of all the AXE Hair products. Eeeeee bubbles!

Lure Conditioner - Ask any girl the difference between shampoo and conditioner and she’ll just straight up slap you. No explanation, just slaps. From what I’ve gathered, shampoo cleans your hair, but conditioner makes it frigging soft. No conditioner, no Hair Action.

Freeze Itch Relief Cooling 2-in-1 Anti-Dandruff Shampoo & Conditioner - I’m not a major dandruffian or anything, but every once in awhile it gets cloudy with a chance of flurries up there, ya dig? But even if you don’t have dandruff, this stuff combines all kinds of other awesome things anyway, as you can tell by its name. It’s kind of like winning the lottery, solving world hunger and hooking up with the hottest girl all in one day. On your head.

Snake Peel Body Scrub / Shock Shower Gel - I usually use only one of these, unless it was an epic night or something. Snake Peel really gets rid of grit, while Burst has cooling menthol beads in it, so it feels like your body just chewed a stick of gum when you’re finished with it. Fresh to death.

   That’s about it for the shower, tune in in a couple of days for the rest of your body. I’ve gotta go get clean!