Whoever said it’s inappropriate to talk about ladies’ underwear obviously didn’t catch a glance of the AXE Facebook page last week, because it was absolute mayhem.  Comment mayhem that is.  When trying to decide what I should write about for this week’s topic – underwear – I thought what better than to hear what dudes have to say about women’s unmentionables.  And man did they have a lot to say!  It was actually quite interesting how opinionated the males were about female clothing.  So interesting that you should go to the AXE Facebook page and check it out!  On second thought, I’ll just tell you here…

To break it down, I asked one “underwear question” per day from Tuesday to Friday last week.  Each day was a little bit different but they all related back to what women wear underneath it all.

Day 1: Have you ever bought lingerie for a girlfriend/wife?  What was that experience like?

Interesting way to start off the week that’s for sure.  One guy cited that he had indeed purchased lingerie not just once but a few times!  Overall he said it was a positive experience with a definite payoff in the end… we’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

Day 2: Does it matter to you if a girl’s underwear is matching or not?

This was a popular question that bred a bunch of very similar answers.  When it comes down to it, guys could really care less if the bra matches the underwear and vice versa.  I mean, as a girl you definitely get a boost of confidence when you know the underneath is looking just as good as your clothes.  But when it comes to impressing the fellas, they only care about one thing, and it ain’t a colour combo…

Day 3: Underwear poll of the day - What is your favourite type of underwear on a girl?  A. Granny panties  B. Thong  C. Boy shorts

Holy comments AXEman!  After a whopping fourty-three comments on the AXE Facebook page, the guys just couldn’t decide between option B and option C.  Based on the first few comments it seemed as though they liked the least amount of fabric the best.  Au contraire mon frère!  Playing the part of the underdog, boy shorts made a big comeback in the standings only to end in a dead heat.  According to the men of AXE, boy shorts bring an element of mystery to the table and leave the rest to the imagination.  As for any alternative answers, well, those guys weren’t big fans of mystery.

Day 4: Guys, what’s YOUR favourite type of underwear to wear?

It was no surprise when boxers emerged as the clear winner in this one.  The vote was for the most part unanimous, minus the random commando shoutout and mom reference.  But like I stated in my previous post, if I had to choose I would go boxers too… not that it matters.

So that wraps up “Underwear Week.”  I hope you enjoyed the findings and joined the fun on the AXE Facebook page.  If you just missed out on the action, no worries, everyone loves a random underwear comment from time to time.  Be my guest, hit up the group and let me know what you’re rocking today!  Here’s hoping you don’t jump on Al Hal’s man thong bandwagon.  Because that’s just not good for anybody.

Until next time,

Mismatched Jaime

   Just for you, I lived the past few days wearing alternative underwear. My findings?

Name: Tighty Whities (Steady Reddies?)

Weather: 28ºC, sunny

Pros: - Available in awesome colours

         - Most socially acceptable undergarment to prance in

Cons: - Only 50% of ass sweat absorbed (boxer briefs catch 100%)

           - Tight.

EoU (ease of urination): 4/5

Additional Comments: - much more comfortable with shorts than pants

Name: Commando

Weather: 27ºC (40º + with humidity!)

Pros: - Feel manly and sexy at the same time. Mexy.

         - Can silently rebut any comment with “oh yeah? I’m not wearing any underwear!”

Cons: - Need to wash pants more frequently (see ass sweat, above).

EoU: Delivery = 6/5… Cleanup = 3/5

Additional Comments: Wear a belt.

Name: Man Thong

Weather: Hot, humid, and rainy

Pros: - You can shock people

Cons: - It’s a man thong

EoU: 1/5 - No hole!

Additional Comments: Don’t ride a bike. Don’t tell your parents.

   This past weekend I took a road trip to chill with some of my boys and spread the word about this blog and our Facebook page! My activities were numerous. Our antics were possibly debaucherous. That’s not a word. Enjoy responsibly.

FRIDAY

   I woke up, packed like a banshee, scribbled down directions and headed out in a rental for some good times in K-W, aka Kitchener/Waterloo. After getting turned around a few times at the 401 interchange (thanks urban planning), I finally found myself traveling up the gut of Kitchener through its main drag, King Street.

Random things about Kitchener:

     - they have a street called Sportsworld Drive

     - it’s incredibly hard to find signs for Waterloo

     - the meat packing plant smells awesome!

     - there is a bar with a beach volleyball court

     - at least one citizen owns a pair of booty shorts with “Blah Blah Blah” emblazoned on the bum in pink gothic font. I saw her with my own eyes. 

   After winding through the Kitch, I met up with Erin and Pat, two jocks I met last summer when we played in a band together.

From the left: sax/voice, trumpet, and drums!

   After lunch we decided to go hang out at theUptown Waterloo Jazz Festival. I was wondering about the Downtown Waterloo Jazz Festival, I heard it’s crazy!

   Anyway, it wasn’t the best crowd… yeah, we showed up just in time for the “Jazz For Kids” set.

Bunch of teetotalers. Sheesh.

   We stayed awhile, but the audience wasn’t as receptive to men’s grooming products as I had hoped. They were, however, very interested in flowers, cool bugs and picking their noses.

   Pat and Erin took off for work, leaving me with open plans and a lot of AXE coupons to distribute. I beelined it to a university in the area named after Canada’s seventh prime minister and set about meeting the people.

   I got the DL on K-W from some dudes playing ultimate, then I caught up with a scrimmaging soccer team. I was headed to the bleachers when I spotted three guys, two girls and an octo-human.

…and with that, it was time to leave.

   The next leg of my trip took me through rural Ontario. Highlights:

     - Giant pig in Shakespeare!

     - Stratford, home of many theatrical festivals… and a certain floppy haired pop star

     - Dublin… Ontario! There were no awesome accents :(

     - Maxwell, which was well signed for their August Corn Festival. Tasty.

     - Exeter, the (temporary) home of my main man Ed! I picked him up on his broccoli farm:

This guy always gets his RDI of B9. Always.

   With Ed riding shotgun, we high tailed it to London to chill with our man Dan aka Triple Beam Dream’s house. Our boy Max drove in from Toronto, and the quartet of weekend awesomeness was complete: Dan, Al, Ed and Max. Our friend Keith wanted to come, but he had too many letters in his name and was deemed ineligible.

   All of us had a great BBQ and lively conversation with Dan’s parents (thanks!), then it was time to hit the town.

   We wound up at an awesome club where Dan’s friend was spinning under the clever moniker DJ Mister-e. Get it?

   He was good! The DJ area itself was 20 feet high, overlooking a big patio area with cushy VIP booths. Between the live DJ on the patio, the dance floor inside and the crowd that poured on to Richmond Street at the end of the night, we definitely met some fun peeps to party with. Here’s a video of our night featuring DJ Mister-e himself!

   We finished off the night with chicken shawarmas  and a jam session, which is how every night should end in my opinion. I crashed in Dan’s guest bed, pooped from my day of travels but giddy for the next two days that lay ahead. 

   Stay tuned…

The time has come my friends; time to close the curtains on AXE Canada’s Ridiculously, Ridiculously Good Summer Gig.  We’re retiring our jerseys and clockin’ out, this is last call ladies and gentlemen.  It’s been a wild summer that’s for sure, and it’s hard to believe how fast it went by.  And if you don’t mind me being lame for two seconds, I’d like to comment that the saying is true, time does fly when you’re having fun!

In honour of the Summer Gig I’d like to take this opportunity to present to you my Top 10 Moments of the (ridiculous) Summer!  Well, not at this exact moment, but give me a few days to compose myself and hustle back to the blog to find out what takes the cake!

Lastly, if I don’t get another chance, I would like to give everyone mad props (that means thank you, Mom) for coming along this ridiculous ride with me.  To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for everyone who supported me.  So without shedding a bucket of tears, I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you.

Thanks for reading the blog.

Thanks for commenting on the AXE Facebook page.

Thanks for taking interest in what I had to say.

You da, you da best.

Jaime